Self-Love: How to Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy

Learn how to become your own best friend

Janice Eastman


A black and white chess board and two chess pieces.
Photo by GR Stocks on Unsplash

An enemy of self-love is not self-hatred.

An enemy of self-love is not a lack of self-awareness.

An enemy of self-love is not being critical of ourselves.

An enemy of self-love is giving up on yourself.

I recently sat down with a bunch of 15-year-olds and asked them what self-love meant to them.

I was shocked when they said they didn’t know and couldn’t precisely define it. But felt confident that they had a pretty good idea of the theory behind self-love.

So, I asked them to share a story about when they had shown self-love.

It blew me away when they all shared stories of when they had done things for themselves, even if it meant sacrificing something else.

However, one girl said she thought self-love is about getting your hair, nails, and skin done. A pretty good attempt at self-love, right?

The definition of self-love can be subjective, but some general points should be included.

Self-love means understanding that we are more than our mistakes, worth more than our insecurities, and capable of more than we think.

It means accepting ourselves for who we are and not who we think we should be.

It means forgiving ourselves for our mistakes and not beating ourselves up.

It’s looking into the future and planning for the best possible version of ourselves.

It’s taking care of our bodies and minds, and spirits.

It’s being accepting and compassionate towards ourselves. It’s being our own best friend.

But the question is, how do we get to that point of self-love? How do we move from being our worst enemy to our best friend?

The answer, unfortunately, is not simple.

There is no one-size-fits-all solution, but there are some things that we can do to help ourselves get there.

There are no guarantees, but by following these steps, we can start to move in the right direction.



Janice Eastman

From reading my writing, I hope you will begin to break down self-imposed barriers and find your authentic self in the extraordinary story of life.