Shame: How to Deal with the Most Destructive Emotion

I came to a realization this weekend. I was a loser. I know that’s harsh. But settle down, I’m a winner now.

Janice Eastman
6 min readJul 13, 2022


Shame: How to Deal with the Most Destructive Emotion. A bird in a nest.
Photo by Zachary Spears on Unsplash

Whenever I hear a friend say they don’t have time to do the things they love and care for themselves, my inner voice replies shame!

In my experience when you take care of yourself and have positive, empowering practices in place, you actually have more time to do whatever you want.

“What do you mean I don’t have time?

If I’m awake, I have 24 hours every day!”

This might not be true for everyone, as we all have different responsibilities and obligations in life…

But for most of us, our biggest obstacle to taking care of ourselves isn’t that we don’t have enough time — it’s that we don’t honestly believe we deserve it.

And at the root of this belief, we find shame.

Shaming Yourself

Paralyzing shame is an emotion we all experience at some point in our lives.

Whether it’s from our parents. Teachers. Or society. Shame can come from many sources. The most important thing to remember is that you are not alone in feeling this way.

Shame is a destructive emotion that can prevent you from moving forward in your life. However, there are ways to deal with it.

Here are some tips for coping with and overcoming feelings of shame:

1) Write down how you feel.
2) Tell someone close to you what you’re going through
3) Learn about your triggers and avoid them
4) Talk about what makes you feel ashamed

Recognizing Traits

Shame is an emotion we all feel at some point in our lives. It’s the feeling that we are not good enough. That we are unworthy. And that we are undeserving of love and respect.

Shame can be paralyzing, preventing us from reaching our full potential. It can also be destructive, leading to negative self-talk, low self-esteem, and even depression.



Janice Eastman

From reading my writing, I hope you will begin to break down self-imposed barriers and find your authentic self in the extraordinary story of life.